


Never Live Your Own Lies

by Annalicious_89



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/F, F/M, Femslash, Gen, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 11:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14104398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annalicious_89/pseuds/Annalicious_89
Summary: I tried to write a good summery, I really did.First Fic, going at it alone.Kestrel Amell had trained, played and submitted herself in order to gain the limited freedoms she could have in this world.When everything she has planned is taken and a new path laid before her, she accepts her fate but will play meek no more.She will do her duty, be everything they feared and more.What is claimed along the way will be kept and protected fiercely, and not just by her.





	Never Live Your Own Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for taking a chance on this, much appreciated.  
> I don't know how often I will be updating, this was for fun/practice, that being said I will make every effort to reach the ending.  
> I own nothing, except for the terrible spelling, poor grammar and atrocious layout.

EMMA IR ABELAS

They’d been walking for days, their presence in Ferelden need remain undetected. The further they wandered from the Circle, having passed it a day ago, the better. While it was less ominous than the horrid conditions her husband had been confined to in Kirkwall, the number of Templars she imagined kept within tripled in her mind’s eye the larger the structure had become. Leandra was grateful the Warden had accompanied them this far, apparently whatever Malcolm had achieved for the order had warranted the second in command to personally see them to their new home. Marian made a disgruntled noise from her husband’s embrace, he responded with gentle cooing that brought a smile to her face, he doted on them both, to finally settle down somewhere, all four of them, to finally have a chance to be a family, it made all the time spent in ship holds, the time apart when Malcolm had set of on his important mission for the Wardens, and now all this walking, cloaked by night and forest, it would be worth it.   
“We rest a moment” Leandra frowned  
“The moon is still high, I do not tire, surely we can go a little farther” Malcolm and the Grey Warden shared a look she did not know how to interpret  
“Leandra, Take Marian a moment? I think she hungers, I can’t get her to settle” They switched babes and the moment Marian was in her arms she nestled as if to feed, she sat herself atop a fallen tree.

As she fed, Leandra lost herself watching every little twitch, every gurgle, and such precious creatures, born of love, into a world that had judged them before they drew their first breaths. A silent tear tracked down her cheek, for the lost family they may never know, except perhaps Gamlen, she will write him again the moment they were settled. Time escaped her, all she knew was the beautiful bundle at her breast, until the forest ruffled around her, glancing up to find her husband standing a few feet away, childless and alone, fear gripped her.  
“Where’s Duncan?” her voice had dropped a few octaves, he raised hands in placation immediately   
“Please my love, hear me out before you speak...”  
“Where’s our daughter Malcolm?!” she was up and jostled Marian, she tore from her and cried loudly, Malcolm moved to take her but Leandra pulled away  
“Explain yourself! WHERE IS MY CHILD” She was furious, but knew she could not search the woods, she would not put Marian down, nor risk falling with her  
“We had to do this, I can’t shield all three of us the closer we get to Lothering, the more dangerous it becomes..”  
“Shield? Three? What are you talking about?” But she knew, a part of her knew as she spoke the words “No… No it can’t be…”   
“I can hide the two of us, it’s a strain but until she’s old enough to do it herself, until she can learn to supress it, we had no choice my love”  
“DO NOT call me that” Malcolm raised his hands again and acquiesced  
“Please Leandra, Duncan says the circle here is not as extreme as those in the Marches, especially Kirkwall, and his position allows him some freedoms when it comes to visitation, he promised to keep track of her progress, and in time, when she passes her Harrowing, she can wander, maybe we can reach out, Lothering isn’t far…” she shook her head, her child, her baby, a few months from her, gone into the night, she stumbled to her knees, Malcolm dashing forward to hold her and protect Marian from the fall as her keening began.   
Pain, such pain, a piece of them gone again, Family, ripped from her. The cries came hard and mournful, Malcolm didn’t beg her to quiet, didn’t demand she be silent for fear of bandits or animals hearing them. She cursed him, she can’t remember how many ways, grateful that she held no arcane knowledge of her own, Malcolm took her abuses, as he feared what he had done was the worst kind of cruelty one can do. Marian’s cries joined her mother’s, while he knew it was more likely to be from discomfort, some part of him thought perhaps she felt the growing distance between her and her sister more keenly than he could. 

He felt every step Duncan took back towards Lake Calenhad, her essence called to him, like a thread being pulled taut, but this was the best he could do, his girls, his precious, beautiful girls were already so drenched in his curse, it was the truth, he couldn’t hide all of them, better she grow there than amongst the Wardens, that fate he wished upon no one.   
Leandra fell into silence and rocked gently, attempting to settle her little one.   
“Will I ever see her again?” Her voice was rough, Malcolm sat back and flinched at the far off look in her eye’s, perhaps imagining it as he spoke, He knew his next words would define the woman that arose to continue this journey by his side  
“She will feel the loss as we do Heart, but she will grow strong, beautiful and wise just like her mother. She won’t bear the name Hawke, but that doesn’t make her any less of one” at this Leandra glared at him   
“What name will they know her by then? If a Hawke she is not?” it was cold, cuttingly so, He held her gaze and reached to pull her up from the ground  
“Amell, my love, Kestrel Amell”


End file.
